The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
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