its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
