just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Randomize
