Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
