Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
