I will die if light touches me.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
It was a blind-side dick pic.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
