Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
