So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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