I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
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