You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
