It's Friday. Sex?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize