I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
