none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
