yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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