Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
