sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
