plz talk dirty to me
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My vagina is officially offended.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
