Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
