Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
