So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm both gender and math confused
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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