Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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