things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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