I didn't shave. On purpose
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
