well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
