he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
