I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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