Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
