Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
