there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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