Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
True strength comes from lack of pants
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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