Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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