and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
