Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
