Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
