I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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