Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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