I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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