everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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