I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
