Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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