No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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