I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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