He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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