I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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