Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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