I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
