I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize