It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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