Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
