Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
