I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
