Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize
