We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
