you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
