How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
