I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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