Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
