Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
