if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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