I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
