He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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