I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
