shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
