I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize