they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize