went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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