yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
