I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
