Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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