Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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