he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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