Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
