Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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