this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
