That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
