i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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