I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
