How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
